Friday, May 11, 2007
4:26 PM
Today was a weird day. I got up, hung out with nico for a little while, got ready for work, and left. I got to work wearing my usual apathy about my job but after I was dressed and ready to go, I was more in the spirit of things. Out at the front desk, I stand and wonder why there are two people on duty when there are only 32 arrivals that night and not a whole lot going on. Jane (my boss) soon comes over and tells me she needs to talk to me. We head to the back and Jane babbles with mindless chatter. She then leads me into Steve, our human resources guy's office. We sit and Jane looks nervous. My heart begins to beat faster as they begin to talk about me and my performance at the desk. They tell me what a wonderful person I am, how great of a personality I have, but that they just didn't think that I was suited to work at the desk. They had to let me go. That's when it hit me; I was fired. Trying to hold my composure as they finish talking, I think of mostly how embarrassed I am. I couldn't believe that I was actually being fired. This has never happened to me before. Jane tells me that I can either stay and work or go home. Of course I chose to go home. After all, I was sobbing. I cried as I changed out of the Olive Drab uniform, I cried on my way out the door, I cried up the stairs to the parking garage, and sat in my car for a while and cried some more. By the time I made it to my apartment, I tried to keep myself together a little in case nick was awake and in the living room. Thankfully, he was not because I certainly was not feeling better yet. I called my mom and was finally able to cheer up a little. By the time nick noticed I was home I was in a better mood and even able to laugh about it a little. I shouldn't be as bummed as I am because really I hated my job. I've hated it since the first day. I mean, in my phone book on my phone, it is listed under "Hell." That should say something. And for the past week I had been thinking about quitting due to the lack of hours. It's just a weird feeling to be unemployed. I've never had to look for a real job. I've always been handed something. In high school I was handed both of my jobs. I didn't even fill out applications, I just started. And when I started at the hotel, I got the job right away mostly because my brother worked there. I didn't even need to think about a different job because that one fit so well. Now I think i'm going to end up working at a grocery store making minimum wage. Weird. Oh well. It will be a good experience I guess and who knows. Maybe i'll like it better than the fucking hotel. The only thing that pisses me off is the fact that they waited a year and a half to decided that I wasn't outgoing enough to work at the desk. You'd think they'd have figured that out a long time ago. And at my last 90 day review, I did great. She talked about how much I had improved and how great I was doing. It was such a shocker to just be fired like that. I never saw it coming. I felt pretty stupid. I still do.